How to reply to online dating messages
The alert is staring at you, letting you know that she finally sent you a message. You want to reply without sounding awkward or weird, but you don’t know what to do. Take a breath and hold on, soon you will be able to confidently write her back in a way that will keep the conversation going and get her interested in meeting you fast.
Don’t rush to respond
If you’re in the middle of dinner with friends, enjoy yourself and wait to reply until you have the time to really read what she said. You shouldn’t worry about waiting a few hours to a half day to respond because it shows her you’re active in your life, not sitting around waiting for someone to show interest. At the same time, don’t play games about how long to wait. She wants to hear from you, so writing back soon after the message, as long as your response is thoughtful, is fine. Wait longer than a couple days, though, and she will assume you aren’t interested or forget all about you.
Really read what she said in her message
Make sure you fully read her message. You don’t want to come across as half-interested. Girls rarely make a move, so you are lucky to know she’s interested. You’re going to get her attention if you reply with genuine interest in what she has to say.
Check out her profile before responding
Besides making sure you’re interested and seeing some cute photos, checking out her profile will give you some conversation references. Think of it as your cheat sheet to finding a few things in common to ask about and expand the conversation you want to build. If you are interested in the same music, sport, or other interest, bring it up when you reply.
Ask her something about your common interests
If she said something short like, “Hi, I liked your profile, how’s it going?”, thank her for the message and look for something she shared in common on her profile to use as a connection. Ask something open-ended, avoiding yes or no questions. “I’m into Japanese food, too. What are some of your favorite places to get sushi?” or “I love jazz too. Who are some of your favorite musicians?”. Also make sure to fully answer. If she asked you more than one question and you only replied to one, she might think you don’t have enough time or interest to be worth meeting later on, so answer her questions but keep it relatively short.
Keep the first response on the shorter side
It’s awesome she reached out first, but don’t freak her out with a lengthy response back. It makes you look desperate and it will seem overwhelming for her to find a time to sit and reply to something that long. Keep it to two or three sentences so she won’t feel pressured to write a lot back to you. You’ll get a faster response from her by keeping things short and approachable.
Make her laugh
After that first bit of interchange, find a way to tease her a little bit. She’ll see you’re interested and think you’re a lot of fun if you do it right. Find something funny in one of her profile pictures like the shirt she’s wearing or an onlooker photobombing in the background. When you use sarcasm, make sure it’s obvious by using some emoji with it, since it can really backfire if she thinks you’re serious. If she’s into your humor, she’ll want to meet you sooner, since she’ll know you’ll make it fun for her.
Don’t send multiple messages while you wait for her reply
Girls will think you’re either pushy or unsure of what you want to say if you send her one or more messages after sending back that first reply. Let her respond in her own time. Keep looking and living your life.
Time your messages to fit her schedule
Make it easy for her to reply quickly by responding during times she will be happy to read your message. It’s annoying to get a message in the middle of dinner with friends. Also, don’t message her during a workday, she will probably be too busy and forget to respond. Message her at times she’s more likely to be free to get a faster reply and have her associate you with fun times, not stresses. The best times to message her are early evening on a weeknight or daytime on the weekend.
Be sweet, not sleazy
If you want her to keep responding, don’t get too direct by talking dirty or using a cheesy line. Girls get messages like this all the time and want to see you as somebody different from the rest of the horde of horny guys messaging them. That’s why she messaged you, and you don’t want to blow it. Say something sweet, specific, and not sexual, like “I really like the color of your hair” instead of “you look so sexy in that top”.
Bring upcoming plans into the conversation
Once she’s responded back, talk about something you’re looking forward to over the weekend. Ask about her plans, too. This will not only keep the conversation flowing, but also give you more information to pick a good idea of a place to meet for the first time.
Ask her out, already!
After you’ve been talking for a bit, it’s important to ask her to meet in person. If you keep talking in that little text box too long, it will either fizzle out or she will just talk to you for entertainment. If there’s something you’re looking forward to doing over the weekend, ask her to join you. Or keep it simple and ask her to meet for coffee or dinner. Make your invitation for no more than three days from the time you send it.
Getting a message from a girl means she’s already taken the first step and is waiting to see where you’ll take things next. With these tips, you can make the next move count and not blow it. Now you have what you need to get the conversation flowing so she will want to meet you right away.