How To Talk To A Girl Over Text
Pacing around your apartment, trying to think of the best way to reach out to a girl you are interested in is a nerve-wracking thing. Do you call and risk her not being there, so you have to leave a message? What if you text her and she doesn’t respond?
Keep these 11 guidelines in mind and you can guarantee the best possible response from her.
1. First, Get Her Phone Number
You can’t text her if you don’t have it, right? But you don’t want to come off as a creepy stalker. First off, don’t make a big deal out of it. Remember, you just want to keep in touch, and it’s not out of the ordinary to get a phone number to do this. Don’t try anything roundabout, like asking a friend for her number or asking her over IM or Facebook. Those can seem creepy and weird, while just asking in person seems very relaxed and natural. A simple “Hey, I don’t think I have your number yet. Wanna exchange info?” gets it across quickly without seeming too cocky or apologetic.
2. Now That You Have Her Number, Use It!
Sometimes people try to give advice telling you to wait 3-7 days so you seem busy and popular. All this does is make you come off as tryhard and like you aren’t interested. Worse than that, if you only met briefly, she might even forget who you were! Send her a message within two days so you are still top of mind with good memories of your interaction.
3. Make Sure To Text Her In The Evening O
n A Weekday
During school or a work day, she is probably busy and in the wrong headspace to happily talk with you. At night on the weekend, she’s probably out having fun and you don’t want her to associate you with pulling her out of fun. As far as morning, well, everyone wakes up at different times and are typically grumpy if you wake them up. Don’t be the person that made her grumpy.
4. So, Now That You Have Her Number And Know When To Text, What Do You Say?
Most of all, keep it relaxed and casual the entire time, and start off with an introduction. A simple “Hey, it’s Joey. What are you up to?” works wonders. If you want to go for extra credit, bring up what happened when you met. “Hey, it’s David! Remember the guy who almost fell on his face in front of you?” Then you start off bringing her back into the happy memory, and it’s a great conversation starter.
5. Now, Keep A Relaxed, Casual Vibe Going And Just Talk Normally
Be playful, joke around, and maybe even tease her a little. Your goal here is just to make her smile, laugh, and build some happy associations with you. Make sure to listen to what she has to say and build off that, not just talking past her the whole time. Ask lots of clarifying questions about what she says to keep the conversation going and show that you are interested in her.
6. Keep The Texts Short And Simple
This is text, not a book. Save the paragraphs for writing assignments. One to two small sentences, then send. There’s no need to flood her with text, as it can seem overwhelming. This also goes for sending multiple messages in a row. Send one, then wait for her to respond. Rarely should you send a second message before she replies. Sending a bunch of messages in a row can come off desperate or scatterbrained, neither of which you want.
7. If She Doesn’t Reply Immediately, That’s Completely Fine
Text is meant to be done while you are doing other things, and something might have come up. On the same note, it’s okay for you to head out and do something else as well. Don’t let talking to this girl take over your life. Just enjoy the conversation for what it is and have fun.
8. A Quick Side Note About Emoji And Gifs
People have strong feelings about them, and it’s best to not be the first person to use them. Sometimes people hate them irrationally, and it could make it much harder to talk to her if you make that misstep. If she uses a winky face or reaction gif, though, by all means respond in kind. Now you have an entirely new layer on your conversation that adds more playfulness and good associations!
9. Make Sure To Text Every Now And Then
You know that flooding her with messages is bad, but disappearing for days can be bad as well. You want to stay top of mind and happy for her, so she looks forward to your texts. If you stop responding without warning for a few days, she might think you lost interest and move on. A quick message sharing something funny that happened or just checking in can work wonders for keeping the spark going.
10. Look For Signs Of Interest And Respond To Them
If she replies quickly, take advantage and start a real-time texting conversation. If she ends messages with a smiley face or laughter, that’s great! If she flirts with you, well, you don’t need me to tell you that’s perfect, but make sure you flirt back in a similar way. Don’t ignore it or she will think you aren’t interested. Don’t take it too far and get dirty quickly, or she will think you only care about sex and move on. Keep the conversation going, slowly increasing the closeness over time as she does.
11. Finally, Make Sure You Move Beyond Texting
You don’t want to just be a source of amusement on the phone, you want to hang out with her in person. After a day or two of texting, invite her out to an event that’s happening soon, to go explore a nearby park, or even just to go grab a drink. Make sure you take control of the planning and specify a time and date, so all she has to do is say “yes,” and you are well on your way to texting just being how you stay in touch between times hanging out in person.
Your next step will be your first date. Be sure to to read our blog on “what not to ask a girl on a first date” so your next date isn’t your last.